Below is a copy of the pastoral letter from
Archbishop Michael J. Sheehan regarding couples that are cohabiting. It dates
back all the way to April 2011, so its not news, but it is still interesting reading.
Pastoral
Care Of Couples Who Are Cohabitating
Dear
Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
We are
all painfully aware that there are many Catholics today who are living in
cohabitation. The Church must make it clear to the faithful that these unions
are not in accord with the Gospel, and to help Catholics who find themselves in
these situations to do whatever they must do to make their lives pleasing to
God.
First
of all, we ourselves must be firmly rooted in the Gospel teaching that, when it
comes to sexual union, there are only two lifestyles acceptable to Jesus Christ
for His disciples: a single life of chastity, or the union of man and woman in
the Sacrament of Matrimony. There is no “third way” possible for a Christian.
The Bible and the Church teaches that marriage is between one man and one woman
and opposes same sex unions.
We
have three groups of people who are living contrary to the Gospel teaching on
marriage: those who cohabit; those who have a merely civil union with no
previous marriage; and those who have a civil union who were married before.
These people are objectively living in a state of mortal sin and may not
receive Holy Communion. They are in great spiritual danger. At the best - and
this is, sadly, often the case - they are ignorant of God’s plan for man and
woman. At the worst, they are contemptuous of God’s commandments and His
sacraments.
Of
these three groups, the first two have no real excuse. They should marry in the
Church or separate. Often their plea is that they “cannot afford a church
wedding” i.e. the external trappings, or that “what difference does a piece of
paper make?” - as if a sacramental covenant is nothing more than a piece of
paper! Such statements show religious ignorance, or a lack of faith and
awareness of the evil of sin.
The
third group, those who were married before and married again outside the
Church, can seek a marriage annulment and have their marriage blest in the
Church. Please remember that divorce still is no reason to refrain from Holy
Communion as long as they have not entered into another marriage or sinful
relationship. Many Catholics are confused on this point.
Christ
our Lord loves all these people and wishes to save them - not by ignoring their
sin, or calling evil good, but by repentance and helping them to change their
lives in accordance with His teaching. We, as His Church, must do the same. In
accord with this, I would remind you of the following:
1. People
in the above three situations cannot receive the Sacraments, with the important
exception of those who agree to live chastely (“as brother and sister”) until
their situation is regularized. Of course, those in danger of death are
presumed to be repentant.
2. These
people may not be commissioned as Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion,
not only because of scandal, but even more because one commits the sin of
sacrilege by administering a Sacrament in the state of mortal sin.
3. Nor are
such people to be admitted to the role of sponsor for Baptism or Confirmation,
as is clearly stated on the Archdiocesan Affidavit for a Sponsor. It is
critical for the sponsor to be a practicing Catholic - and can anyone be
seriously called a practicing Catholic who is not able to receive the
sacraments because they are living in sin?
4. When it
comes to other parish ministries and organizations, I feel it best to leave
these situations to the judgment of the pastor. Prudence is needed, avoiding
all occasions of scandal. We must see their involvement in the parish as an
opportunity to work urgently to bring such people to repentance and the
regularization of their lifestyle.
5. Many of
these sins are committed out of ignorance. I ask that our pastors preach on the
gravity of sin and its evil consequences, the 6th and 9th Commandments of God,
and the sacramental nature and meaning of Christian marriage. Our catechetical
programs in our parishes - children, youth, and adult – must clearly and
repeatedly teach these truths.
A Church wedding does not require some lavish spectacle and
entertainment costing vast sums of money (Indeed, how often we have seen the
most costly weddings end in divorce in but a few months or years!). While
beauty and joy should surround a Christian wedding, we must remind everyone
that it is a sacrament, not a show.
6. Those
who are married outside the Church because of a previous union are urged to
seek an annulment through our Marriage Tribunal. If it can be found that the
first marriage lacked some essential quality for a valid marriage, the Tribunal
can grant an annulment. Your pastor can help someone start a marriage case for
this purpose. It is important for such couples to continue to pray and get to
Mass even though they may not receive Communion, until their marriage can be
blest in the Church.
Our
popular American culture is often in conflict with the teachings of Jesus and
His Church. I urge especially young people to not cohabitate which is sinful,
but to marry in the Church and prepare well for it.
I
congratulate and thank those thousands of Catholic married couples who role
model the Sacrament of Marriage according to the teachings of Jesus and his
Church.
Sincerely
yours in the Risen Lord,
Most
Rev. Michael J. Sheehan
Archbishop
of Santa Fe
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